Allow me to introduce myself. My name is William Swilliams Williams, and I fill the position of family butler for the Williams'. I haven't much to dae because the Williams are bleedin' tidy and ordered people whose three children are bleedin' well behaved and quiet almost all the time. I have therefore resorted to blogging to fill some of my spare time, and in the hopes that yeh, the reader, may glean wisdom from the Williams' example.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Mower Four

Mr. Williams is not what one might ring up “handy.” He seems to dae well enough with intangible graft – logic, persuasion, etc. – but if yeh put sumfink in front of him that requires he touch it… let me just say his 5 year olde son frequently fixes his mistakes. From what I can tell, this is not entirely his fault. There bleedin' well may be some sort of curse upon him that causes these tangibles to rebel against him, quietly sacrificing themselves at his expense. Take for example his experience with lawn mowers. I hae seen him mow his grass many times. (I was originally expected to mow his grass for him as part of our working agreement, but with my chronic toe jam I am sadly unable to fulfill this duty. I typically sit inside under a fan and in front of one of the windows and sip iced rosie whilst he mows. I wave every time he goes by in an effort to encourage the skint lad.) Anyroad, he mows as yeh would expect him to. He doesn’t scapa over much other than the grass. However, in 3 years he has utterly destroyed as many mowers. He is on mower four now. He has gone through only too weed wackers, but this second one is currently held together by duct tape. Oh that I could help him. Curse this toe jam.

1 comment:

Kristin said...

I'm wondering if this curse is similar to the one the birds cast on Mr. Williams. If I recall, that one resulted from a loving pet being starved to death...correct me if I'm wrong. I wonder what Mr. Williams did to deserve such a fate with lawn mowers.

I'm also curious why the Williams chose an Irish butler.