Allow me to introduce myself. My name is William Swilliams Williams, and I fill the position of family butler for the Williams'. I haven't much to dae because the Williams are bleedin' tidy and ordered people whose three children are bleedin' well behaved and quiet almost all the time. I have therefore resorted to blogging to fill some of my spare time, and in the hopes that yeh, the reader, may glean wisdom from the Williams' example.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Last week, the middle wean showed some shrewdness and initiative. Of his own accord, he ran for and won a seat on the student council for his school. I had the privilege of speaking with the newly elected kindergarten official the other day about why he believes he outperformed all of the other kindergartners in the election. In his speech, turns out, he promised the other lads that if elected, he would make sure the playground received a new tire swing. Following is a portion from my little interview, bessy I can recall:
- Noah: I think that’s why I won. No one else promised anything like that.
- William: Ah yes. bleedin' mint. So… how dae ye plan to get a tire swing on the playground then?
- Noah: That’s nothing. I’ll just get a tire and take the middle out, then hang it with a chain from a tree on the playground.
- William: So where will ye get the tire?
- Noah: Lowes, I guess.
- William: So how dae ye plan to pay for the tire? Surely they won’t just give it to ye?
- Noah: …
- William: Hadn’t thought of that then? Well suppose ye hae a fund-raiser? Ye could raise the lolly I bet.
- Noah: Oh! I know what to do! I'll have a fundrasier and sell quarters for a dollar a piece.
I dae believe that wean has a bright future in politics.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Emma, the daughter of the family has recently lost two teeth. Lost is such an inappropriate word for this kind of thingamajig. In both cases, she had the bugger forcibly removed from her head by Mrs. Williams. There was all manner of hellish screaming, tears and threats. Add to that all the fussing Emma was doing and ye begin to see the picture as it played out. Ye know, a child can go from one emotion to another in a single breath. It felt as though the tooth had been plugging up a great deal of excitement and joy that was free to burst forth once the tooth was removed. And there is no wonder why; the tooth fairy must hae inherited some dosh because it is certainly more generous now that it was when I lost my laughing gear.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
And then, last May, it couldn’t. Well, it could as long as y'r destination was straight ahead. Bung in a turn, and ye were SOL. Cheerio olde grey floater. Wotcher beautiful Veracruz with navi, sunroof, leather, xm and the ability turn both left and right at any time. Ahhhh, it is noice to feel alive.